How’s it been working for you?

How’s It Been Working For You?




  1. Procrastinating to get the 800-page book read for your final in three days.
  2. Charged another outfit to your card that you cannot afford, nor do you need it, but the rush of hunting it down and finding it on sale gives you instant gratification, getting you that much closer to filing bankruptcy.
  3. Committing to another relationship so you wouldn’t be alone anymore, and you still haven’t found the love you deserve.
  4. You bought your fourth gym membership, flying high on your good intentions, and you haven’t gone to the gym once in seven months.
  5. Again, you talked yourself out of treating yourself well and instead baked and ate an entire chocolate cake, and you had a diabetic seizure.
  6. Spent your paycheck again and couldn’t pay your rent. You got kicked out of your apartment.
  7. You promised yourself you’d be on time the next time. And, for the literal 1012th time, it didn’t happen, and your family and the plane left without you for vacation.
  8. You quit your trainer and have gone willy-nilly and fallen off the deep end of “it’s summer.” You’ve gained 20lbs. in the last six weeks. And you’re still going strong until the kids go back to school.


Ouch. Oh, my friends, there is no judgment here, only a question: How’s it been working for you? If after the length of time behaving in the habits that you have built and getting the results you’ve been getting, how’s it been working for you?


Consider that, and especially since you haven’t been able to change your behaviors to those that serve you on your own, that perhaps it’s time to recruit some help.


Only the strong ask for help, because they have learned, (when they weren’t strong), that when they’re not good at something, that help will only make them better. And they were ready for help.


In my personal experience asking for help was not always easy. It made me feel like a weak, asshole of a person. And after too many miserable failures to count, I was finally ready to ask for some help. That initial request led to several more requests and I was able to learn that I couldn’t do it on my own.


There are thousands of smarter people than me on this planet. And the more I grew in my Self, the easier it got to ask for help. And to this day, I continue to use one of the greatest tools at my disposal, the “ask.” And the ask is to ask for help by giving you tools to use when you are about to fall back into a behavior that will not benefit you. For example:


Situation: When I feel fear to ask for help I will …

Tool: Take a deep breath and know that the person I am asking for help is here to help me.


And you practice it. “Perfect practice” makes for new and beneficial habit-building skills for life. “Perfect practice” means, there’s no failure in practicing continually. Practice, when exercised often means one will get better and better with each attempt. You’ll have perfected your practice when you see the changes happening for you. And since life keeps going until we’re dead, we can practice perfectly until we can’t.


Where to go to ask for help:

  1. Your church. There are programs to help you, (and couples) or guide you to help, for low cost or free.
  2. Your local community center. Another place to help you or guide you to help, for low cost or free.
  3. I believe this is one of the best paces to go. You get all the reviews and the truth about everything.



When you’re ready to have a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “How’s it working for me,” be gentle with yourself. You’re about to embark on a magical journey!  

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