1226 words, why I don’t have kids, going to take some time off-sort of, $10,000 and self-judgment

1226 words, why I don’t have kids, going to take some time off-sort of, $10,000 and self-judgment

It amazing at how often I get asked “How many children do you have, Annette you must be an amazing mother,” or its assumed that I do have children. My first response usually is, “Well since I got divorced my children went from one to none.”  🙂  But when my true answer is “Kids? Oh noooooooo,” the looks on the faces are funny and in almost complete disbelief that I do not have kids. Well I’m finally going to say it, I don’t have kids because at 6 years old I knew I didn’t want any. I knew it wasn’t my particular passage, not in this lifetime anyway, to have them. No, I don’t have any tug whatsoever for them, I don’t feel like I’m missing something, and after my trip to Disneyland yesterday with the five-billion strollers, some double-wide, watching the temper tantrums, the kids asking their mommies at dinner while holding up a mini-carrot in their little hand, “Mommy is this healthy,” and when mommy said, “yes,” the child threw the carrot at her dad and said triumphantly, “then I’m not eating it,” to watching the Disneyland worker wiping puke off the wall in a bathroom cause a child couldn’t make it to the stall and puked after Soarin over California, (yeah poor kid), and watch the misbalanced care for the kids by both parents, (one parent usually takes over while the spouse becomes one of the children, yes really), and seeing all this as I grew up, it was clear to me that I have absolutely zero problem with judgment of others when I say, “I like my sleep, my time, my money, my get up and go whenever, wherever, however, and it’s all good.”  🙂  And children, under a custody battle/agreement and under 25 years old in a relationship, are a deal-breaker for me.  I know, I am a rarity. Kids are fun, they make me laugh and I love hugging them- -especially when they are getting in the car with their parents to go home to their house.  🙂

Moving forward, in the profession I chose as a personal trainer and group fitness instructor, there is much energy given out daily to my clients that doesn’t stop at their hour at the gym and I have said that my clients and gym members are my children- -I just don’t need to live with them.  🙂

I am consistently sending out coaching emails, text messages, pictures of what whey protein for people to purchase, links to heart rate monitors for calorie-counting, links to free apps to use for food intake, and spending time phone coaching. I practice and memorize music and choreography to be the best version of Annette while teaching classes, I adjust every single training to who showed up that morning at 5:30am, I adjust to each 1-on-1 client who I see apart from the group. I coach every single person how to adjust their bike in cycle classes and keep eyes out for the safety of everyone I come in contact with in every gym I set foot in. I listen to people’s problems and read what they are really saying when they say “I’m fat and I can’t lose weight.” What they are really saying is, “I am hurting, I don’t feel good about myself, I don’t know how to care enough for myself, I have zero support at home and I really want to change and learn a new habit and concern for myself but don’t know how to do it for myself and am disguising it by saying ‘I cannot afford a trainer but I can afford the oversized cheesecake from Costco and further sabotage myself into the excuse-ridden person I have become. Looking in the mirror hurts, and I really do want to see something I like next time I look in the mirror, will you help me help myself?’” I have been given a gift of finding what’s inside a person and growing that potential on a daily basis and I love it. I’d say I am not a “parent,” (until I get my kittens of course), I’d say I am a guide.     

And finally, I’m going to take some time off- -sort of.

This June I am going to San Francisco! I’m going to take 7 days off and travel 545 miles seeing the beautiful coast and scenic routes that will take me through the heart of California. Imagine all the stunning views, historic destinations, and even the chance to spot dolphins frolicking off the coast!

  • San Francisco to Santa Cruz, 82.5 miles
  • Santa Cruz to King City, 109.2 miles
  • King City to Paso Robles, 66.7 miles
  • Paso Robles to Santa Maria, 97.7 miles
  • Santa Maria to Lompoc, 42 miles
  • Lompoc to Ventura, 83.3 miles
  • Ventura to Los Angeles, 60 miles

And I’m going to do it on a bike.

I’m doing the AIDS Life Cycle 11! I heard about it this past Christmas from my aunt who had done it and I became intrigued, so I registered! My only three requirements are to raise the funds, grab some gear and …..ride. I’m considering it a vacation you know, taking some time off- -sort of.

And the point of my share today- –fundraising.

I initially signed up to raise $10,000, right? Well that effort went straight to hell because I procrastinated. (Rolling my own eyes). Instead, I am raising the minimum $3000, and I am asking for your help, to believe in me, my physical strength and endurance in my next goal, (the 545-mile ride) and in helping others through this cause.

Some coaching here, $1 is help. $5 is help. The amount doesn’t matter, and I honestly had some self-judgment of my own too in this event that “Annette, you could have picked a different race to do, what are people going to think? You probably cannot ride that far I mean, you don’t even ride outside what are you thinking? People won’t donate,” (thus the procrastination), “and you cannot afford any gear, especially the bike.” Well here’s my personal outcome of it all:

  • I want to do this ride, it sounds amazing
  • People are going to judge no matter what, get over your own ego thinking they’re even thinking anything.
  • Of course you can ride that far, you have the mental drive and belief in your own Self, this ride is fully accommodated, you are connected to your higher power, you will never be alone
  • People believe in you, no matter the cause.
  • And a gal, who I consider a friend, loaned me her bike! THANK YOU MARY!!

All I need now is a few more items of gear, your donations and I’m good to go!

I AM GOING ON THIS RIDE, and I would be grateful for your donation, click here to see my progress and donate!

The ride begins June 3 and I just booked my one-way flight I am so excited!

Thank you for your support, words cannot convey my gratitude,



P.S. I will also be holding a great fundraiser, another fun opportunity to give, news on that coming soon. For now see my progress page here and open your heart and give a bit!



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