How I learned to focus on being the solution

I began my fitness career in 1984, right? Granted, we were always active since young, and I was even a cheerleader for my bro’s Pop Warner years.

(Awww–go Wildcats!)

As years passed and my teaching & personal training experience grew, I realized that it is so incredibly easy to allow the focus to shift to what we do NOT want, rather than to what we DO want.

This is how I learned to focus on being the solution, (what you do want), not the problem, (what you don’t want).

Students, members of fitness clubs, personal training clients and people I just came in contact with all had one thing in common- -the unknown desire to talk and focus on what they didn’t want:

  • “I don’t want to be fat.”
  • “I don’t want to disappoint my wife; I want to see in her eyes that she sees me as her hero like she used to.”
  • “I don’t want to go home crying after trying on bathing suits.”
  • “I don’t want to step on the scale it scares me.”
  • “If I don’t lose weight my husband said he’s going to leave me.”

But this kind of focus leaves one feeling hollow, afraid, not measuring up, disappointing, and not good enough. And these feelings are all pretty negative, yes?

So then the intention walking into the fitness arena in the hopes of losing weight are fueled by fear, weight is lost on the foundation of fear, and then its gained back- -because of the unstable (fear) foundation.

It crumbled.

Focusing on what we do want sounds something like this:

  • “I want to be healthy and thrive.”
  • “I want to feel good because when I do feel good, I accomplish a lot, including fixing stuff for my wife. She likes that, says it makes her feel protected, and that makes me feel great.”
  • “I will take care of myself exquisitely, and the only crying that will happen is from the bathing suits hanging on their hangers that I leave at the store, while the winners sit happily, wrapped in tissue paper in my shiny new bag swinging from my arm, nestled next to the beautiful sarong & hat that are gonna be sittin on my velvety skin while we all shimmer on the sun deck aboard the cruise ship….and Duardo the oil boy will kneel at my side and ask, ‘what can I bring you beautiful goddess, your wish is my command’?” (You think I’m kidding??)
  • “I want to step on the scale because it is only a unit of measure, and as long as the number goes down, I’m headed in the right direction. And by the way, a number does not define me.
  • “I would love my husband to love me as I am but it’s clear that his insecurities go far beyond what my body looks like. If he finds it necessary to leave me I cannot stop him, but I will love myself enough to know that I do not need to chase after an idea of pleasing somebody out of fear. I also love myself enough to bring myself to perfect, balanced health and will listen to my body along the way instead of succumbing to the fear of what the media is trying program me to be, living on 300 calorie per day diets. I will recruit a healthy source of coaching because I do want my vitality back. It’s time.

So now that the drawing in, allowing in and focusing on what you do want has been cleared up, I’m calling you to action in 3 steps:

1.      Thoughts. Change your thoughts to positive ones and tell a different story every time you recognize the do not want behavior trying to sneak in.

2.      Belief. Change your beliefs to what serves your desire to feel good. A belief is simply something that you think is good for you, so you repeat it continually- -like drinking daily. (Oh wait, you don’t really feel it’s good for you…but you continue it daily? Now’s your chance to tell a different story to what you do want.  ;)) And when you listen to your thoughts when they say something like, “I am not getting up for 5:30am training  cause its cold, dark and they can just kiss my a$$, ” you’ll hear it immediately and reassess the thought process to: “Ugh, okay, this is for me, I knew it when I signed up. The people there will make me laugh and I know as soon as I get there it will be worth it.”  🙂

3.      Action. Try us out, you will experience a level of acceptance and feel-good-about-yourself like you haven’t before. We build on a foundation of inner strength, not fear of what you “can’t” do.

Click here:

Continually make it the day you choose,

Annette  🙂


  1. Nancy Fielder says

    Hi Annette,

    Thanks for the great article. It is just what I needed to read today. It is amazing how our thoughts affect our acitons. Sometimes we feel powerless in certain situations, but we do have a lot of power if we take responsibility for our choices in life.


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